Are you rude? Maybe you should think again

When you are reaching other people, you have the choice to treat them with rudeness or with civility. The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relations, by improving our relations by being more considerate and more polite, we are improving our lives.

We are improving our lives by improving our relation skills and by treating each other well. We are the trustee of each other happiness; we are responsible for others' happiness. All ethical principles call for respecting each other. Human beings must treat each other with respect as a goal in itself, rather than treating them with respect as a desire or means for something else.

The typical source of being rude is stress. In a rude encounter, like in traffic, the more stressed you are, the more rude you are, all this weakens your body and your system. The ruder you are, the sicker you become. All this negativity is like a collective karma, it will come back to you , not as a certain behavior but as a negative energy. For example, if you have a boss that is unfair to you, you will always be stressed and will lead to your sickness.

Being rude is a behavior that you choose and you are responsible for the consequences of this behavior that is hurting others and making them feel unhappy.

Watch yourself how you behave in a restaurant. Being rude to waiters is a typical thing for some people who think: A waiter is a servant job, a waiter bring me food to the table. Take care that this bad energy that you have brought will come back to you in other different forms. A waiter says that we are human beings and have feelings and he is adding some tips for the customer so as to make it easy for both of them:

• Put your cell phone away for seconds so you can give me your order.

• Do not blame us for bad food, we have nothing to do with it, just tell us to return it back.

• Your kids are your responsibility and it is harder to do our job if we have to pay attention to them.

• Waiters depend on your tips; if you do not pay for the service it affects their salary.

• Without reservation do not ask for the best table in a busy night.

• You have to ask for your check, as it is impolite for the waiter to put it on table, unless it was a very busy night.
  
  
• Make sure that the money appears in the check so that the waiter can see it rather than wondering whether you have put the money or not.

There are patient waiters that can handle difficult customers. Some rude waiters can have revenge from rude customers by spiting in their food.

Sometimes, when you are a rude customer and always asks for the manager, it is not always the real one that you meet, the real manager is tired from your complaints.

There is a difference between being rude and being mean. Being rude is an unfocused rudeness but being mean is a focused one. Being rude is like someone who hits you in a street and do not apologize or not leaving your seat for an old lady in a bus. Being mean is having bad or evil intention towards someone. He targets you in a mean way and asks a question to embrace you in front of others. Because of his envy and insecurity, the mean person shifts his burden to others in a form of hostility and rudeness.

As individuals, we can not live alone in this world, we need each other. The more we become more considerate to others, the more we will be calmer. This leads to being healthier and thus, happier.

As human beings in this world, we depend on our social skills so as to keep our social ponds. To survive these ponds with each other, we have to improve our skills by improving good manners and civility.

Take this test on Oprah's website to see how Civil you are.

http://www.oprah.com/survey/oprahshow/20080909_tows_rude?cnn=yes

For more info. about this episode from Oprah's Show, visit to this link:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/11/o.are.you.rude.test/index.html

From Oprah Winfrey Show

A Passage to India

Written by E.M. Forster in 1924

A Passage to India is a novel that reflects Forster's belief in humanism. Humanism is a philosophy that seeks to dignify man. It calls for compassion, equality, universal brotherhood and individualism, which helps civilize man to make him realize his potential power and gift. He says "I believe in teaching people to be individuals, and to understand other individuals."

Forster's novel tackles the idea of the barriers that separate man from man, class from class and race from race. A Passage to India pictures as no other the clash of two cutlers; the conflict between the Indians and the British. At that time, Britain was occupying India. Although he was a British, he did not side with them. He was attaching the British imperialism. He asserts human rights and ridicules racial prejudice.

This novel explores the difficulties men face in trying to understand each other and the universe. Forster says, "The world is a globe of men who are trying to reach one another and can best do so, by the hope of goodwill plus culture and intelligence."

Forster shows in the novel how man's attempts to create unity are continually, dominated and diminished by forces man cannot control.

According to Forster, the solution to human misunderstanding lies in man's capacity to transcend human difference by developing the heart and imagination. He says "God has put us on the earth in order to be pleasant to each other. God is love. God has put us on earth to love our neighbours and to show it."
He adds "It's very easy to sympathies at a distance, I value more the kind word that is spoken close to my ear."