A New Earth 1 - The Duck with a Human Mind

A New Earth - Awakening to your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle; he is a spiritual teacher and an author whose teachings have helped countless people throughout the world find inner peace and greater fulfillment in their lives.

His book deals with a new shift in human consciousness, discovering our true selves and how to live in the present moment. Tolle discusses the ego, the pain body, the self and awakening from a society that encourages deep sleep.

The book puts forward some practical solutions to ways of thinking that have caused so much pain and dysfunction within society.

The writer sees our thoughts as the voice in the head that has a life of its own. Most people are possessed by thought, by the mind. Here he means the dysfunctional thinking that our body reacts to with negative emotion. This negative emotion is toxic to the body and interferes with its balance. Fear, anxiety, anger, bearing a grudge, sadness, hatred or intense dislike, jealousy, envy_ all disturb the energy flow of the body, affect the heart , the immune system and so on.

He tells the story about two ducks get into a fight, which never lasts long, they will separate and float off in opposite directions. Then each duck will flap its wings vigorously a few times, thus releasing the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After they flap their wings, they float on peacefully, as if nothing had ever happened.

If the duck had a human mind, it would keep the fight alive by thinking, by story-making. This would be probably the duck’s story: “I don’t believe what he just did. He came to within five inches of me. He thinks he owns this pond. He has no consideration for my private space. I will never trust him again. Next time he will try something else just to annoy me. I’m sure he’s plotting something already. But I’m not going to stand for this. I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t forget.”

And on and on the mind spins its tales, still thinking and talking about it days, months, or years later. As far as the body is concerned, the fight is still continuing, and the energy it generates in response to all those thoughts is emotion, which in turn generates more thinking. This becomes the emotional thinking of the ego. You can see how problematic the duck’s life would become if it had a human mind. But this is how most humans live all the time. No situation or event is ever really finished. The mind and the mind-made “me and my story” keep it going.

We are a species that has lost its way. Everything natural, every flower or tree, and every animal have important lessons to teach us if we would only stop, look, and listen. Our duck’s lesson is this: Flap your wings_ which translates as “let go of the story”_ and return to the only place of power: the present moment.

The writer explains the idea of carrying the past saying: the inability or rather unwillingness of the human mind to let go of the past is beautifully illustrated in the story of two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, who were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep it would have ruined the kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.
The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “Why do you carry that girl across the road?” he asked. “We monks are not supposed to do things like that.”
“I put the girl down hours ago,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

Now imagine what life would be like for someone who lived like Ekido all the time, unable or unwilling to let go internally of situations, accumulating more and more "stuff" inside, and you get a sense of what life is like for the majority of people on our planet. What a heavy burden of past they carry around with them in their minds.

The past lives in you as memories, but memories in themselves are not a problem. In fact, it is through memory that we learn from the past and from past mistakes. It is only when memories, that is to say, thoughts about the past, take you over completely that they turn into a burden, turn problematic, and become part of your sense of self. Your personality, which is conditioned by the past, then becomes your prison. Your memories are invested with a sense of self, and your story becomes who you perceive yourself to be. This “little me” is an illusion that obscures your true identity as timeless and formless Presence.

Your story, however, consists not only of mental but also of emotional memory_ old emotion that is being revived continuously. As in the case of the monk who carried the burden of his resentment for five hours by feeding it with his thoughts, most people carry a large amount of unnecessary baggage, both mental and emotional, throughout their lives. They limit themselves through grievances, regret, hostility, guilt. Their emotional thinking has become their self, and so they hang on to the old emotion because it strengthens their identity.
Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotions, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call “the pain-body”.

We can, however, stop adding to the pain-body that we already have. We can learn to break the habit of accumulating and perpetuating old emotion by flapping our wings, metaphorically speaking, and refrain from mentally dwelling on the past, regardless of whether something happened yesterday or thirty years ago.
We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught up in mental movie-making. Our very Presence then becomes our identity, rather than our thoughts and emotions.

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?

The whole passage and quotes are from the book: A New Earth – Awakening to your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

No Title

If you think that your life is hard, read this article and you will have a second thought.

Tourette syndrome is a disease that can affect children, its symptoms are a repetitive involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics.

Although the causes of Tourette syndrome are unknown at this time, it is considered as a neurological disorder that occurs in the brain; a chemical disorder.

The person who suffers from this syndrome cannot control its symptoms; her body never stops moving- it is an involuntary movement- and she can even punch her own body. Furthermore, there is verbal symptoms; uncontrollable sounds like screaming or parking.

It is really hard to cope with this disorder. We are going to follow the daily routine of two girls between 12 and 15 years old, Lisa and Carla, who suffers from this syndrome. We are going to find how both they and their parents are copying.

Our first impression about Lisa is that she is an extraordinary beautiful little girl. She is nice and healthy. Then one of her symptoms starts to appear; she starts to move consistently with no control.

It is a struggle for her to make a sandwich. When she tries to open a jar of jam, it was like a trigger for endless back and forth movements. She says, “When the jar touches me I must touch it back, it is a compulsion to touch back.”

Her mother is watching all her daughters’ symptoms. She can open the jar preventing her daughter from touching it. But she forces Lisa to open it so that she can depend on herself. Her objective is the hope that her daughter can be able to live independently and function in this world.

She says, “As a parent it is hard to watch your kid suffering in this way, this is not what I have expected when I have kids.” Despite having these moments of depression, her mother still has a positive attitude and encourages her daughter to go to school.

Lisa is waiting for a decision from the schools’ board whether she will study in school or at home. The more she waits the more she gets stressed and this starts her uncontrollable movements and tics. Finally, she discovered that she will be home schooled as her symptoms are severe and she cannot concentrate.


Carla –the other girl- is always judged by others. People are concentrating on her symptoms rather than her spirit that lies beneath.

Despite she cannot control her tics, when she screams, she apologies to her colleagues. If she tries to suppress this urge to scream, she feels sick in her stomach and has a headache. It is like everybody’s urging to rub his body when suffering from allergies.

Carla’s father encourages her to go to school but most of her colleagues see her as a freak. She says, “I am a normal girl who is trying to cope with what is happening in my life and I will always have hope.”

Sometimes she is filled with rage like other girls. But hers is tense and she feels remorseful afterwards. When she is having a bad day [she did not think that all her life is bad or unfair] , she goes to sit beside a river. The sound of water makes her peaceful and less frustrated.

Her father tells her “you can be what you want to be, Tourette cannot stop you. You have a disease but it does not define you.”

All her physical symptoms make her more emotional than others. She says, “If I concentrate I will do good job in creating myself and my character.” She adds ,“ Things are not always as they appear.”

[When their lives touch your heart, it is your call to appreciate your life more]

ABC- primetime- family secrets

Pampering Teenagers

Rich parents who were pampering their teenagers start thinking about changing their ways. They decided to show them tough love, so as to teach them to be responsible.

One of those parents held a party for his daughter Emma that costs fifty thousand dollars. In addition, he bought her a brand new car as a gift, despite having another one.

He noticed that by such behavior, his daughter became selfish, dependent and irresponsible. He decided to send her on a trip to a very poor country for two weeks.

Emma was forced to go, at first, she was facing a cultural shock and was feeling exiled. As a result, she was angry and refused to accustom to such life, then gradually she surrendered and started to embrace this different and tough life.

She stayed with a poor family that a girl like her age had to walk for four hours, so as to get water for her family. By acknowledging this situation she started to appreciate what she had at home.

When Emma went home, she became a different person; she got a job and decided to send some money – which she earned- to help that poor family.

She was thankful for their hospitality as well as for this whole experience.

Her rich parent is now proud of his daughter’s transformation and says it is never too late to adjust a certain behavior.

From Tyra Banks show

Live within Your Means

Do not have something that you cannot afford, forget about what you want to have or what you deserve, if you cannot pay for it, just do not buy it.

During recession [economic decline] as what is occurring in America right now, people are losing their homes and becoming homeless, some of them are living in their cars, others are in a desperate search for work and they are learning how to live all over again.

All this financial mess occurred because people were living beyond their means, they were loaning money from banks; by getting a mortgage on their house, they borrow money to buy other things; cars, clothes and all they want. But as they cannot afford this monthly mortgage payments, the bank took their houses and they were in debts. Either people are losing their jobs or they could not find any. What also leads to this economic collapse is the massive use of credit cards in America especially.

The aching part of this crisis is that those people were borrowing money to buy unimportant stuff; instead of one car they want another one, they are just buying what they want rather than what they need and they are not even buying them with their own money.

As a result of this way of living, most of the people for example in California, are living in tents, they are calling the place: tent cities. Those people were from the middle class, right now they are having troubles in finding jobs and they are suffering from the crisis that they unknowingly created with the misleading participation from banks.

In these circumstances that they are facing; living in tents, no oven, if they want water they have to walk three miles to get it; they appreciate all the things they used to have. They always say this will never happen to us or anybody whom we know. Some of them have kids but they did not tell them about their situation so as not to add a burden.

When families are forced to leave their homes they cannot afford, they left all their close memories; their albums and photos. All this put a real face of this recession, people who used to donate are now in need of this donation.

People who are surviving this recession say: if they go back to their better days, they would do different; they were going to save rather than spending. They would live within their means; spending money on what they need and buying what they want only when they could afford it. Furthermore, they would extend their kindness and grace to somebody else.

From Oprah Winfery Show

My Stroke of Insight

“Be responsible for the kind of energy you brought to me”

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, the writer of the book “My Stroke of Insight” is a scientist specialized in how the brain works. She suffered a stroke when a blood vessel burst in the left side of her brain. She explains that our brain has two sides; the left side concentrate on the details, the right and the wrong. It is responsible for language and logic. While the right side is concerned with the feelings, it helps you to be kind and to see the big picture. It is more visual and it represents your use of intuition.

In her stroke the left side was injured and only the right side was working; she did not remember whom she was and the details that happened in her past life. At the moment of her stroke, she says, “I was an infant in a woman’s body” she has no identification with the external world. Moreover, she did not recognize her mother or whether that person is her doctor or a nurse, she could not communicate with others but instead she was aware of their energy. Dr.Taylor says “I did not know what a mother was much less my mother was,” but when her mother sat beside her and held her like a baby “All I knew was this very loving, kind, generous spirit of a woman who came in, wrapped herself around me and just took ownership of loving me- and that was the new beginning.”

She says that her stroke is a blessing; it gives her an insight how to live the rest of her life in a different way. When she was recovering, as only her right side of the brain is working, she could receive all the energies that different people brought to her at the hospital. When the nurses came in and were talking to her, she did not know what they were saying- as the left side is injured- but she felt that they were lying from their energy. She says, “I was over here happy and you are over there trying to talk to me, and you had to be a really wonderful energy coming towards me in order to be willing to try to understand.”

It was painful for her that she did not have a warm touch from some nurses. As they see many sick people all the time they forget to care for every patient. When she was lying helpless in her bed in the hospital, a smile from a nurse made her felt relaxed. She says, “As opposed to someone who just comes in, deals with the machinery, ignores that there’s even a warm body in the bed,” she adds, “I did not feel safe in that person’s care.”

A nurse has read her a book and says that she now knows how patients feel on their side. She has a different approach towards them and she is now giving that extra human touch. She says, “I think about this story every time I walk into the hospital to start my shift.”

Mostly doctors and nurses who act cold, it’s a defense mechanism so as to protect themselves from any connection with the patient because if he did not survive they will get hurt, may be others do not care as their lack of sympathy.

It’s no excuse “It’s not a matter of having a defense or not,” or Dr.OZ, a well known doctor in America, says, “The right defense is to engage life.”

Taylor’s recovery took eight years; she was able to make full recovery as not all the cells in her brain were damaged, so they were able to rebuild the rest. The main part in her recovery was that she received the treatment as quickly as possible after the stroke.

When you suspects that someone is having a stroke, ask him to do three things at first to examine his/her injury:

• Smile
• Put his/her hands up {while smiling or after}
• Repeat a sentence {to know if he/she can put together words- if he/she understands it}

From this test it can be figured out which side of the brain is injured and how much is it damaged and this test must take place immediately after the injury.

Dr. Taylor says that she experienced the world in a different way through her right brain in which she reached a state of Nirvana [a state of perfect happiness and freedom in which the individual becomes absorbed into the supreme spirit, it is used often in Hinduism]. She says, “I lost my ego. I lost the cells that said, ‘I am’, because that is part of language and so it did not exist anymore.” She adds “what I gained was this incredible knowingness of deep inner peace- an excitement of realizing everything was inner connected- and I lost the boundary of my body. So, I felt that I was enormous, as big as the universe, because I no longer defined that this is where I began and this is where I ended.”

Dr. Taylor says “We let her go. We mourned the death of who I had been. We had to do that so that here I am. If I never get my cognitive mind back, if I was never capable of thinking logically again, I could still have a life. I could still be me, but I couldn’t be held to the criteria of re-achieving that,” she says, “And then we moved forward. And it was like: who am I now? Who is going to emerge from me now?”

In her recovery, she began to remember some of her past memories, of course some were negative ones. She chose to forget those painful memories and focused on her present, peaceful life and inner peace. She says, “Pay attention to what you are thinking, and then decide if those are thoughts that are creating the kind of life you want to create.” She adds, “And if it’s not, then change your thoughts. It’s really that easy.”

She was living with her right hemisphere’s limited consciousness, “I was experiencing bliss and euphoria. I was happy.” She says, “I also lost all my emotional baggage. How’s that feel? That was nice. That was freeing. I imagine what it would be like to just be in the present moment. All I had was the wonder and the splendor and the magnificence of the present moment- and it’s beautiful.”

Her stroke gives her insight; at her recovery her goal was to feel peaceful and to look at this present moment as perfect. She did not know the before or the after, the only thing she was willing for and she had was this moment. Now she makes a choice that the past and the future will not interfere in this moment. She comes in this moment as being perfect in itself and she will enjoy it.

From her experience, she affirms that the patient is in there and it is up to us to come and find him/her. Her stroke is a blessing that teaches her to choose to live life moment by moment.

See all the ways you can stay connected to friends and family.

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Are you rude? Maybe you should think again

When you are reaching other people, you have the choice to treat them with rudeness or with civility. The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relations, by improving our relations by being more considerate and more polite, we are improving our lives.

We are improving our lives by improving our relation skills and by treating each other well. We are the trustee of each other happiness; we are responsible for others' happiness. All ethical principles call for respecting each other. Human beings must treat each other with respect as a goal in itself, rather than treating them with respect as a desire or means for something else.

The typical source of being rude is stress. In a rude encounter, like in traffic, the more stressed you are, the more rude you are, all this weakens your body and your system. The ruder you are, the sicker you become. All this negativity is like a collective karma, it will come back to you , not as a certain behavior but as a negative energy. For example, if you have a boss that is unfair to you, you will always be stressed and will lead to your sickness.

Being rude is a behavior that you choose and you are responsible for the consequences of this behavior that is hurting others and making them feel unhappy.

Watch yourself how you behave in a restaurant. Being rude to waiters is a typical thing for some people who think: A waiter is a servant job, a waiter bring me food to the table. Take care that this bad energy that you have brought will come back to you in other different forms. A waiter says that we are human beings and have feelings and he is adding some tips for the customer so as to make it easy for both of them:

• Put your cell phone away for seconds so you can give me your order.

• Do not blame us for bad food, we have nothing to do with it, just tell us to return it back.

• Your kids are your responsibility and it is harder to do our job if we have to pay attention to them.

• Waiters depend on your tips; if you do not pay for the service it affects their salary.

• Without reservation do not ask for the best table in a busy night.

• You have to ask for your check, as it is impolite for the waiter to put it on table, unless it was a very busy night.
  
  
• Make sure that the money appears in the check so that the waiter can see it rather than wondering whether you have put the money or not.

There are patient waiters that can handle difficult customers. Some rude waiters can have revenge from rude customers by spiting in their food.

Sometimes, when you are a rude customer and always asks for the manager, it is not always the real one that you meet, the real manager is tired from your complaints.

There is a difference between being rude and being mean. Being rude is an unfocused rudeness but being mean is a focused one. Being rude is like someone who hits you in a street and do not apologize or not leaving your seat for an old lady in a bus. Being mean is having bad or evil intention towards someone. He targets you in a mean way and asks a question to embrace you in front of others. Because of his envy and insecurity, the mean person shifts his burden to others in a form of hostility and rudeness.

As individuals, we can not live alone in this world, we need each other. The more we become more considerate to others, the more we will be calmer. This leads to being healthier and thus, happier.

As human beings in this world, we depend on our social skills so as to keep our social ponds. To survive these ponds with each other, we have to improve our skills by improving good manners and civility.

Take this test on Oprah's website to see how Civil you are.

http://www.oprah.com/survey/oprahshow/20080909_tows_rude?cnn=yes

For more info. about this episode from Oprah's Show, visit to this link:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/11/o.are.you.rude.test/index.html

From Oprah Winfrey Show

A Passage to India

Written by E.M. Forster in 1924

A Passage to India is a novel that reflects Forster's belief in humanism. Humanism is a philosophy that seeks to dignify man. It calls for compassion, equality, universal brotherhood and individualism, which helps civilize man to make him realize his potential power and gift. He says "I believe in teaching people to be individuals, and to understand other individuals."

Forster's novel tackles the idea of the barriers that separate man from man, class from class and race from race. A Passage to India pictures as no other the clash of two cutlers; the conflict between the Indians and the British. At that time, Britain was occupying India. Although he was a British, he did not side with them. He was attaching the British imperialism. He asserts human rights and ridicules racial prejudice.

This novel explores the difficulties men face in trying to understand each other and the universe. Forster says, "The world is a globe of men who are trying to reach one another and can best do so, by the hope of goodwill plus culture and intelligence."

Forster shows in the novel how man's attempts to create unity are continually, dominated and diminished by forces man cannot control.

According to Forster, the solution to human misunderstanding lies in man's capacity to transcend human difference by developing the heart and imagination. He says "God has put us on the earth in order to be pleasant to each other. God is love. God has put us on earth to love our neighbours and to show it."
He adds "It's very easy to sympathies at a distance, I value more the kind word that is spoken close to my ear."

Empower Yourself - Find Your Inner Strenght

Everything happening around you teaches you more about who you are. Whether you are religious or not, find a deeper connection with life. Feel more alive and present. It is an instinct in every one of us, there is something greater out there that makes you question yourself who am I? And what is my purpose in this life?

It is our connection with one another and the universe. It is the connection to your eternal qualities; your real essence; that you will take with you when you die. You are a spirit more than a body. Spirituality works in your everyday life, spiritual teachers comes in all forms; they can be any person who comes into your life, any bad or good experience that you face.

A spiritual life coach says that answers are around you all the time but the question is how are you present them? The more present you become to your life, the more you begin to see that there are signs around you. She says that you have to take note when you begin to judge or shutdown what someone is saying to you and try to stay open-minded, what if everyone that comes into your life is a spiritual change agent in some way? The more open you can be, the more you allow your life to change and the more you can see the influence of grace. She says, "A closed mind is the barrier to living a grace-filled life."

Grace is a divine energy or spiritual intelligence that comes from a divine source. We call it God, others call it [spirit- the universe - a higher power] . This beautiful energy is available to each and everyone of us, regardless of whether you believe it or not, as well. Once you learn to become more graceful, you will see this divine intelligence working in your life.

The spiritual life coach talks about how you can begin to "dance" with Grace. When you see signs of grace in your life, you are entering into "the dance"; the dance of grace represents your psychological growth, you realize there are coincidences that occur in your life and recognize that it is part of this divine intelligence working in your life. She says “As you begin to see those signs, you realize ‘wow, I am co-creating’ my life with some kind of spiritual intelligence here.”

It is also important to listen, pay attention, and take action. When you get the messages, you need to act on them.

In your spiritual journey, you have to know that tough times are an indication that your soul has capacities to move forward. Most people do not want these bad times, they feel depressed, lost and worthless, as they are getting sick or aging or losing money. They are questioning: is this my destiny after struggling in life? The rule of life is its changes; everything is changing, human beings die and others are born.

Most people do not accept this rule but it is a life-reality. Whenever you face changes like losing your money, ask yourself who am I without my material things that I define myself with. You will find something inside of you that makes you greater than this situation. All of your experiences on your spiritual path help you to become more fearless, wise and grateful.

You choose to acknowledge your tough times in a productive way:
· Stop blaming yourself for what is happening to you
· Tough times are not a punishment; they are your spiritual growth
· Focus on what is working with you right now
· If you think that you do not have anything, realize the gift that you are breathing without a machine right now.
· Why me? Break down [get over it]
· The more you resist what is happening to you the more stressed you are, instead accept it and focus on what you need to do to reach your peace of mind. In the middle of a crisis, you need to let go of something old then a new thing will reborn. The new will be better more than you imagine. Your spiritual growth is identified by letting go of something [false identities or habits] then you are reborn. No matter what is going in your life, with this thought you will be alive.

Here are some examples of ordinary people who can be considered as spiritual teachers for most of us:
A mother whose body is attacked by a flesh-eating bacteria, both her arms and legs are being cut [ just recognize her attitude when the doctors told her, she said: “cut them I just want to go home to my kids and learn the new ways to survive my every day duties for my family.” She added that life is about choices and I choose the right path of not giving up, every one experiences bad times, the trick is how to survive them as a fighter. For her, the simple activity is a struggle but she is happy by accepting life changes and living her life to the full.
If you are in her shoes will you follow her attitude?
Another spiritual teacher is a man who survived a plane crash, he sees, from his position on the plane far away from the burning area, the passengers who are dying; their spirits that are leaving their bodies are bright while others’ spirits are brighter. Since then he decided to live his life in a way that when his spirit leaves his body it will be the brightest.

A daughter, whose mother suffers from cancer, was angry that her mother is being ill. She is learning to turn this energy which she spends on being angry to love force. Instead of wasting her energy on anger, she is learning to spend this rich time focusing on the intimacy with her mother.

Another real spiritual teacher is a twenty years old girl, her body was burnt in an accident, who believes in her mind that she is still beautiful, not physically but from inside she feels safe. She is a living example of a person who is highly spiritual and facing a spiritual test. We all complain about things that are not important, for her every day is a fight. She decides to feel sorry for herself only five minutes every day during this time she can cry then she says "Okay! that’s it" and lives her life in its best way. She is happy that she lived; she feels she can do so much in her life, she is living life as an adventure. She is a real definition of beauty and affirms that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

You may think that things happen in your life by chance, but this is grace working its way into your life. The power of prayer helps you along your spiritual awakening journey; this power of prayer takes you from your ordinary life to an extraordinary spiritual place.
Find grace in your life and create your own every day miracle:

• Write two or three goals and changes that you want to make in your life right now.
  
• Affirm these goals and changes through the day by saying to yourself, " I am open and receptive to the power of grace in my life. I ask to be shown clear examples of how this energy is operating. Give me direction. Let me see the doors that are open and make sure that I can see them."

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Best Life 4 (Cherish your Spirit)

Break Open

Whatever troubles you are facing in your life, by looking at it in a spiritual level, you will know it is going to be alright.

Your hard times make you blossom like a rose [grow-evolve]

In crisis times, you may feel that you have lost yourself. However, in the depth of that loss you will find out who you really are. You will begin to trust in who you are. This crisis time is a precious time, NOT a waste. When somebody faces a crisis, he must ask himself this question:
What are you coming to teach me?
What are you coming to teach me about myself?
Look at your crisis and your pain fearlessly and say:
Teach me so I can grow.
When you are facing bad times you have to make a courageous decision:
To take all that pain and crack it open or to shutdown

All people face difficult times in their life, it is the rule of life; the key is to know how to deal with it in a deeper spiritual level. Being spiritual is feeling that there is a power in your life that guides you. It is to be connected to your deep self. Life is a state of openness, be aware of the aliveness of life around you. That aliveness which you see in all the natural beauty in trees, hills, drops of water and the breeze of air. Feel all the creativity, joy, peace and love that God has blessed in life.

Look at your bad times as your holiness moments that make your soul rise. Here is an example of a couple facing divorce; both the man and the woman are feeling exhausted, sick, impatient and angry. If they do not make a move, they will never know how their life can change. Nothing is burning their heart as much as the pain of breaking a family. Most of their lives they cared about what their society thinks them to be. They made a decision to break open that pain and trust whom they are and what is better for their children who find it is better to share a separated healthy minded and emotional parents rather than a broken couple. From that bad experience evolves two peaceful, strong and deep connected selves. Of course, for others it is better to work on their marriage and protect it.

Bad times are the times in which you have to practice your spirituality, saying I want to be that person that I am capable to be. We think that we are unhappy of what we do not get but we are unhappy of what we are not giving. In front of every person there is a choice, his heart can be opened or closed, he can be judgmental or give support. The spiritual path is a choice to be the best we can.

Another example of parents facing the most difficult time in which their son died. For them everything changes forever and their feelings about things. They do not know how to deal with that pain. The only thing they knew is that they have to do it well. They have two places to go; hope or despair. They chose to take the path of hope, one moment at a time, they were gentle with their grief they knew it was a journey and a process. If you do not grief well, this pain will transfer to anger and evil pain. It took them nine years in their spiritual awakening. Before their son's death, they were considered religious but they were not spiritual. There is a great difference between being religious and connecting yourself, your life and what is happening around you to the spirituality of this religion. For instance, some people are religious but they do not pray, others do their prayers without feeling or concentrating on what they are saying, so there are different levels of practicing your spirituality in your ever day life.

The key to spirituality is by practicing it, by being kinder, more compassionate and more conscious of the deep meaning of being alive. As the lawyer practices law, as the doctor practices medicine, to be spiritual you have to practice spirituality. In your spiritual journey:

• learn something new about yourself and the people around you everyday
• Write down ten things you are grateful for in your life
• Do an act of kindness everyday

The more your spirituality is developed the better you will heal in your bad times. As everything in life, practice makes perfect.

Back to the story of the son who died. His brother talked about his own spiritual awakening saying that, to him life was like a picture on the wall in which you think you know how your life is going and what you are expecting, but when his brother died this picture of life was shattered to many pieces. He felt there was no way to put it back again. He was shocked looking at those broken pieces. His brain could not solve this dilemma. He thought he would always feel this way. Then, he experienced his spiritual awakening in his spiritual journey, when he was doing a simple thing: he was grilling some fish and he was happy. He said that if I was happy of my life from this simple thing, then I can do more in my life; good things can happen in my life. He said, he realized that: I can get through this difficult time, I can move forward not in the same picture but I can create a new one.
When your picture of life is broken, consider it old and create a brand new one.

For the spiritual awakening of the father after his son's death, he said at first he was focusing on his work, gaining money to provide for his family the best, he was doing it right; doing all his best. When the death happened he felt he failed. The death of his son broke him open by asking himself: What is really important in my life? What is my purpose here? What am I going to do with the rest of my precious life? The death of his son showed him that nobody knows what is going to happen in life. He decided to live life now. He chose to quit his job and found a little one for which he had passion but with less money. They, himself and his wife, decided to give back to the community that showered them with love and support in their great loss. When you help you heal. They learned in their spiritual path that you are here to serve, to use yourself in service but do not do it as a must; it must come from deep inside of you. They felt those deep great moments in life, they felt free and attached to something larger.

In your own spiritual journey, meditate one minute every day then increase them each month. You will take a fantastic guidance and your life will change. If you do not take it, you are not worth a minute, then you are not on the path. Problems come to all people, having problems is in the human dictionary in life time. Instead of fighting with your problem and not accepting it, ask the question:
what is embedded in you [in problem] for me? What are you going to teach me?
The world is rich of messages, if you are open to see them. If you reach the problem as a friend, you will see your capabilities and the possibilities around you.

Find a spiritual community; friends who share your spiritual path. Pay attention to your life, it is talking to you, nothing is happening in a chaotic way. Spirituality is the essence of everything, all human beings on earth are having their spiritual experiences but they have to be awake, like the radio which needs to be tuned or it will not work.

From Oprah Winfrey Show



[A strange thing happened to me after writing the first half of this article, my computer shutdown and this article was not saved. For a moment I became sad and angry as I was going to write it once more and have to organize all my thoughts again. I was about to shutdown as my computer and then came to my mind the thought of practicing what you preach. I said to myself it is God's will and you may see something as being bad but it is for your own good. I became open to write it once more and I did. I discover that I wrote it much better in the second time. I have my little spiritual experience of the day, only when I accepted, it God helped me to do better.]
Marwa

Best Life 3 (Cherish your Health)

To live your best life, you have to check your health, what is going inside your body and organs.

Do not take your health for granted, find a doctor, the right one for you, and have a check up. Take control of your health, do not wait for your doctor to suggest it. You’re the only one who knows if there is something wrong with your health/body.

To take care of your health, you have to deal with several issues:

1. FOOD


2. PHYSICAL TESTS


3. VITAMINS


4. SMOKING


5. EXERCISE


6. SLEEP

1- FOOD
Choose healthy food:

• Yogurt-fruit-oatmeal-for breakfast


• Salad-fresh vegetables as spinach-chicken


• Use OLIVE OIL, one table spoon for a day

Avoid 5 INGREDIENTS on food labels:

• High fructose corn syrup
  
• Sugar
  
• Enriched [white bread]
  
• Trans/Saturated Fat

Add healthy food to your diet:

• Antioxidants: 5 to 7 servings: tomatoes- broccoli
  
• Omega: 3mg daily: fish-salmon-walnuts-soybeans-squash
  
• Fiber: 25 mg daily: black beans-peas-roseberry-fruits vegetables
  
• Olive oil: 1 table spoon daily
  
• Iron: dark colored fruits and vegetables

2- PHYSICAL TESTS

• Blood pressure
  
• Blood sugar
  
• Heart beats
  
• Bone intensity
  
• Vitamins: iron, vitamin D for bones
  
• Thyroid Stimulating Hormone TSH
  
• Reactive Protein
  
• Breast Cancer
  
• Keep your health record organized

3- VITAMINS

• If your body is lacking some vitamins, take their supplements.
• Choose your health advocate: someone who accompanies you to the doctor and pays attention, listens and takes notes of what is said. It can be your friend or another doctor whom you trust. Do not go alone.
• Always have a second opinion from another doctor. Be sure of treating the cause of the disease not its obvious symptoms.

4- SMOKING

• Quit Smoking, it makes you 10 years older.
  
• First days are rough then it gets easily gradually.
  
• Replace the act of smoking by another one [put something like a straw in your mouth to replace the feeling/eat/drink healthy choices]


• You can put something smelly [have a bad smell] in your cigarette.


• Begin it when you are fasting [in Ramadan for example].


• It is normal to gain some kilos at the beginning, you will lose them.


• It depends on what is working for you, stop smoking all at once or reduce gradually the number of your cigarettes.


• Remember that the accurate description of the lungs of a smoker is the exhaust pipe in a car in which the black smoke goes out.


• It is not wrong that you can not stop smoking but it is if you do not want.


• Stop this cycle by your own will with God's help.


• Be healthy for your family and cherish your health.


• Just start and do it. YOU are worth it.

5- EXERCISE

• You must know that we are designed to walk.


• Try to walk half an hour a day for your heart.


• Train with weights to build muscles that help you to burn more calories and strengthen your bones.


• Do not use the elevator.

6- SLEEP
Not getting enough sleep makes you tired, hungry for carbohydrates.
To sleep well:

• keep a routine.
  
• keep your bed dark and cool.


• No caffeine 4 hours before bed.


• NO T.V in the bedroom.

After all, answer these questions:

1. Why are you worthy of getting healthy this year?
   
2. Write down 3 food choices you will stop buying?


3. Write down 3 healthy food choices you will buy?


4. Write down your commitment to Exercise?
   
5. What is the bad sleeping habit I'll change this week?

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Best Life 2 (Cherish your Body)

If you are overweight or have some kilos you want to lose, help yourself by looking at this problem in a deeper way.


Try to see it not as a weight issue but as a loving one . For some people food is their drug choice when they are feeling down or sad. It's their way to cope with the problems instead of facing them. A way to comfort themselves in bad times.

Definitely other people do not have such a problem, they just like to eat more than others, even, they want to eat when they are happy. Another group of people cope with sadness by eating less.

Using food as your drug choice in bad times leads to an overweight problem in which you feel as if Fat has won and you have failed – you can not control your own being.

To get better in shape you have to deal with what is really going inside. Ask yourself why am I overweight? You have to search on a deeper level.
Know what are you really hungry for? What is missing in your life?

Everyone differs in his answer, may be you feel unhappy in your carrier or you are living an unbalanced life.
Some feel overwhelmed in their busy life, doing so much that they lost sense of themselves. Others, still do not find their path/way in life, they are still looking.

You do not have to learn to embrace hunger which is hard to do, you need to go deeper-as said above-
Your plan is to ask yourself these questions:

1. Why are you overweight? [on a deeper level]
2. What are you really hungry for? [what are you looking for?]
3. Why did you fail before? [may be you have Lost your weight before, but when you think you made it, here starts your downfall. You go back to your old eating habits. You have to pay attention everyday to your diet .It is an everyday process.]
4. Why do you want to lose weight? [Is it really for your health or appearance or both? – you have to know that if you set for yourself a certain number to reach, you may not reach it and that makes you unhappy or even if you reach it, you may be still unhappy. This means the real reason of your sadness was not your weight, since reaching the weight you defined for yourself did not make you happy.]

God has blessed you with this precious body. Appreciate what you have been given. You need to realize how many times you have abused your body. Although, you do not feed it well or it is deprived of sleep, it is, by god's will, still functioning. Literally this body is baring you. Love yourself and take care of it.

• Have a balanced healthy diet.
  
• Plan for your life and your meals.
• Exercise: walk 30 minutes a day or as you feel comfortable- dance- train with weights aiming for a better shape for your body [building muscles make your body burn more calories and it is good for your bones.]

Know that life goes on, take lessons of life experiences, move on and get yourself together. Love yourself because it deserves to be loved.

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Best Life 1 (Cherish Yourself)

If you are feeling that there is something missing in your life; you are not happy because of things you cannot control; you want to live your best life, it all starts by being honest to yourself; you have to know who you are and appreciate your wonderful soul and body gifted by God.

Take a moment to embrace what is happening in your present life, then figure out what are you willing to change. Put yourself first on your priority list.

You should know that perfection can never be achieved and it is sometimes a burden to look for. It is better to seek your happiness by finding harmony with your life. When you love yourself enough you can take care of it. God has blessed you with this soul and body that you have to honor, and then you can take care of others.

You must be motivated to reach your own goals. Do not lose your zest for life. Loving yourself is never an ending journey. Choosing how to live your life is God's gift to us. Seek the balanced life you deserve.

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Busted Online

What will you do if anyone posted pictures of you on the Facebook?

Take care when dealing with the Facebook. Facebook pictures and information can be used against you. Dr. Phil in one of his shows, tackled this issue. A man who was applying for a job, he was accepted as far as his CV and interview were concerned. The manager checked his profile on the Facebook and found some inappropriate photos that costed him his chance for the job.

From Dr. Phil Show

It's TOO MUCH

DO YOU HAVE TOO MANY: CLOTHES?, SHOES?, PAPERS?, TOYS?, FURNITURE? THINGS YOU WILL NEVER USE. YOU ARE JUST KEEPING THEM FOR NO REASON.

THIS IS CLUTTER

A CLUTTER Expert {someone who helps you to organize your things and stuff } says: “Most people tend to keep unnecessary stuff, some are used to store things for so many years; either they don't know how to deal with them or they don't want to.”

He continues “For some people it's a habit .They are used to buy too many things and they don't get rid of their old ones.”

He adds “For others it's more emotional. It's hard for them to let go of that stuff, to them it represent dear old memories of their childhood.” For example, one of Oprah's guests was keeping a chest X-Ray that belongs to her father from about 20 years ago. Another example, a woman keeps a broken doll that her parents gave to her when she was young.

Oprah’s expert has plans for both sides; those who don't know how to get ride/organize their stuff and others who don't want to since it represents more than items to them; they symbolize special moments in their life.

The expert says they have to make a decision to honor their special stuff. They have to clean it out of dust and organize it in a proper way that allows them to look back at it from time to time , may be with their children , and remember those dearest memories. They can also get rid of stuff that bring bad memories [ illness- fights] and any unnecessary broken things. They will feel much better, happier, and more peaceful as organizing them, they honor their dearest memories in the only way that they deserve.

THE PLAN:

• THROW OUT anything you don't use for 12 months.


• Use a STOPWATCH, give yourself 5 minutes to organize every drawer or box.

• Arrange SIMILAR things together.

• LABEL your stuff and use containers and boxes.


• DONATE stuff that others may need; you can help them.


• CLUTTER INTO CASH stuff that you can't donate, you can sell.


• RECYCLE bottles-glass.


• Use CLEANING SUPPLIES to clean the dust.


• After organizing you can change the DESIGN of your place and refresh it up.

At the end, when your space is organized, you will feel better.

Decluttering your space helps declutter your life.

From Oprah Winfrey Show

Slow Down

You have a lot to do? You feel you have no time? You feel overwhelmed with many tasks? You lose concentration? Do you feel you need help? It is time to stop.

Slow down in your life, specially for a Mum. Stop being overwhelmed or else you will lose concentration.

Examples are many,

One of Oprah’s guest is a mother who was overwhelmed with doing everything herself. The woman was suffering the pressure to become the perfect mum, which made her lose concentration and along with the loss of concentration she lost her child. As a daily routine, the father was supposed to take his little girl to kindergarten. One day the mother had to take her daughter instead. What happened is that the mother was engaged in her daily routine; preparing breakfast, helping her children to dress and go to school, preparing herself to go to work….etc. The mother took her daughter in her car. BUT WHAT HAPPENED?
The mother went to work and forgot her daughter in the car. The girl died of high car temperature.

Another mother put her son for a nap. She started working in the house; she was already frustrated. She heard her son crying, she ignored his cries wishing he will sleep. After 2 or 3 minutes, she felt the sound was not right. She went to check on him, and what did she find?
She found a rope around the child’s neck. She saved him.

Both mothers wanted to be the perfect mums; mums who prepare breakfast, put hot meals on the table every day, take full care of the children..etc. They believe they should do every little thing themselves. They believe they should not seek help or rest. This made one of them say “I’m not getting any joy of my children”. Their children became a heavy burden.

These perfect mothers had the courage to appear on the Shaw. People (specially mums) are very critical towards each others. They give themselves the right to judge other mothers and call them imperfect. This adds stress on each mother to strive to be the PERFECT mother.

A family specialist in the Shaw gave suggestions to solve this issue of mother’s overwhelming state of mind:

Taking care of yourself is the highest priority:

• Take 20 to 30 minutes early in the morning to digest yesterday’s emotions.


• Ask for help. Say “I’m not doing well” without being ashamed of it.


• Focus on one task. Do not do so many things at the same time.


• Be pleasant with everything you do. Try to see the positive side.


• Whenever your CHILD is present, focus with him.

Taking care of yourself helps you to have a healthy state of mind and a better attitude towards others. Since every mother is trying to do the best she can, we have to help each others instead of taking the role of a judge.

From Oprah Winfrey Show